The Stand Bi Us Forum aims to create spaces which are as safe, supportive, and inclusive as possible. To that end, these guidelines are intended to provide guidance for interactions. We want everyone to be able to connect, celebrate, and feel respected.

We know that not everyone experiences spaces in the same way and we ask that everybody participating in Stand Bi Us (the organisers, attendees, and guest speakers) do so from a place of mutual respect, compassion, and commitment to anti-oppression.

As most of our events will be online, some aspects of the guidelines may seem strange or unnecessary. But as is often with online interactions, people may think less about how they behave than they would in in-person situations and therefore be less likely to think carefully about how their behaviour affects others.

Everyone attending any part of Stand Bi Us is responsible for themselves, their actions, and their own health at all times. You do not have to stay in any session if you do not want to. You are free to leave any session at any time. If you choose to leave for any reason, please do so quietly to avoid disrupting the session for others – you don’t need to say that you’re leaving.

People who do not respect people’s boundaries may be removed from sessions by the host/s. No one at Stand Bi Us should ever be put under any pressure to join in with things they do not want to do. This includes:

• any sexual behaviour, including chat or sharing images online

• taking part in any activity

• disclosing information

• discussing sensitive or personal topics

• engaging in chat.

It is fine to ask someone a question once during discussions, but if they refuse to answer, continuing to ask will be viewed as pressuring them. If someone asks you to leave them alone, do so.

Attendees can ask the tech host/s or host/s of the session to tell someone to leave them alone. In public, which includes our private Zoom rooms, Discord, or any other platforms, “no,” “stop,” “don’t do that” or similar words and phrases will be taken at face value by the Stand Bi Us organisers, regardless of context.

Stand Bi Us should be a place where people feel free to express their sexuality and gender, but it is not a sex event.

With the exception of people who are breastfeeding, everyone needs to adhere to the same indecent exposure laws as if we were at an in-person event. This means remaining fully clothed at all times.

Remember that you are responsible for what can be seen and heard in your background when you are visible on screen. Please turn off your video or mute yourself if something problematic is happening (for example, there is loud noise).

Please be aware that there may be mention of upsetting experiences, swear words, or sex in Stand Bi Us spaces.

If you don’t want someone in the room to hear these things, such as a child or someone you’re not out to, then please do what you need to do to prevent this, for example, by wearing headphones.

In online sessions, we may ask you to turn your screen on or off for a few limited reasons, like a facilitator wanting to see the guests at the start of a session, or a tech support person turning video off to save bandwidth, but other than that you can turn your own video on or off at any time.

You are free to have your video off at all times if this feels most comfortable for you. You will be told at the beginning of any event if it is going to be recorded and you may choose not to participate or to turn your camera off at your own discretion.

We ask people to keep themselves muted when they aren’t speaking, to make it easier for others to hear. This is important for accessibility, so please make it easy for other attendees by keeping yourself on mute unless you are actively speaking, then return to mute after.

We might also mute people who are saying things that go against the Safe Space Guidelines, but we don’t wish to censor people unnecessarily and will endeavour to tell you why we’ve done this. You will be told at the beginning of any event if it is going to be recorded, so you can choose not to participate or to turn your mic off at your own discretion.

Please respect people’s privacy, and be aware that not everyone at Stand Bi Us may be “out” about their sexuality or other aspects of their life, such as their gender identity or relationship status or style.

Always ask permission before identifying anyone publicly. “Public” includes write-ups on personal websites or on social networking sites such as Facebook. This includes comments on Facebook posts, etc. Assume it is not OK to talk about anyone you’ve been in sessions with unless they explicitly say that it is OK.

Do not take any screenshots or recordings of Stand Bi Us sessions.

If sessions are being recorded, this will be clearly stated.

Stand Bi Us tries hard to be a safe space for all attendees, regardless of sexuality, ethnicity, class, gender identity, gender expression, relationship status or style, disability, religion, history, beliefs, age.

We ask you not to make any comments or assumptions or to stereotype people on the basis of their skin colour, physical features, ethnicity, accent, religious beliefs, etc. Avoid comments or fetishisation of cultural markers and physical features.

People who attend Stand Bi Us may define their gender in a range of different ways which may not always be easily understood by everyone else. If you are unsure of the pronouns someone uses, we encourage you to ask them, or avoid gendered language by using they/them as your default. If you ask someone or are corrected about pronouns, please try to use them correctly.

Please remember that everyone is at a different stage of awareness about various issues. Try not to assume people are being malicious if they make an initial mistake. If you are asked to think about your behaviour after making a mistake, please try not to be defensive.

If you make a mistake, try to own the impact, even if it wasn’t your intention. We are a community that needs to learn and grow together. If you need support dealing with a problem in a session, please message the host/s and they will do their best to support you in dealing with it. We want to know that our guests and community feel respected and considered.

If anything happens that makes you feel uncomfortable or unwelcome – even if you do not want us to do anything about it, or feel it is your fault – please do let us know, as we may be able to learn something from it for the future.

Breaches of these guidelines or reasonable requests will, in most cases, be met with a warning from a member of the organising team. The organisers’ decision is final.

If warnings are ignored, or in the event of serious misconduct, we reserve the right to ask anyone to leave part or all of Stand Bi Us. We reserve the right to pass on details of complaints to future Stand Bi Us organisers.

Inspired by the BiCon Code of Conduct, Twenty10 Safer Space Guidelines, and Sápmi Pride Safer Space Guidelines